Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Positive thoughts for the Pens tonight people. Nothing but good vibrations!
“Mon ami, when are you coming back to the land of the living?” Sid watched Cody roll the dice and then move her game piece down a snake. Becky clapped and then reached for the dice. Snakes and ladders, he hadn’t played since he was a kid and only then maybe once or twice. All his games had been out on the ice, or down in the basement. He’d never had much time for board games.
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you could see what I’m looking at,” Sid smiled to himself as he leaned against the wall, watching his little family.
“Well we are all excited to meet what you’re looking at,” Max replied and Sid could hear Jordy and Duper in the background agreeing and adding their two cents worth. None of which was worth repeating and all of which was word.
“Yeah, about that,” Sid sighed and turned and headed out onto the terrace. “I’m wondering if you...well maybe Duper, cuz let’s face it, what do you know about kids, could do some uh...kid proofing at my place.”
“Kid proofing?” There was no ignoring the incredulity in Max’s voice.
“Yeah, she’s coming home with me...fuck, I don’t have to explain myself to you. Just...I kind of need to have that done before I...before we get home.” He couldn’t help but smile when he said it.
“So, this is the same chick that had the whole CSI thing going on in her house?” Max asked.
“Yeah, did you hear anything more about that?” he asked, wondering if he was going to get home to a pile of messages from his agent and from Mario.
“There was nothing in the press if that’s what you’re worried about, which is kind of funny when you think about it considering how many cops were crawling all over that place.” Sid felt a lead weight lift from his shoulders. “So a kid, huh? Boy, when you jump....”
She tried to hide it behind both of her little hands but it was the third yawn that Becky had tried to stifle in the last few minutes. Cody had let her stay up long past her bedtime only because of what had happened, because of her own guilt and because Becky had seemed like she was never going to run out of steam. But this time, as she rolled the dice, they practically dropped out of her fingers and barely rolled an inch.
“I think we’ll finish up this game and then you, little missy, are going to bed,” Cody reached across the board and ruffled her niece’s blonde hair. Becky made a face, but didn’t argue, which was only more evidence of how tired she was.
“I’ll read you a story.” Cody turned to see Sidney returning to the room with phone in hand. He looked worried. She sent him a concerned look but he shook his head, just once, but enough to know that whatever it was, it didn’t concern them right now.
“I don’t have any of my books here,” Becky pointed out as she sent her game piece up another ladder.
“Ah but I’ve got books in my head,” Sidney told her, scooping her up off of the floor and into his arms. “Have you ever heard a story about a hockey sweater?” he asked her as he carried her, uncomplaining through the open door that joined their rooms. Cody watched them go, her heart swelling at the sight, even with that little voice whispering in her ear that it wouldn’t, couldn’t last. She acknowledged the voice and then told it, summarily, to fuck off, at least for now.
She scooped up the dice and the game pieces and then folded the board and put all of it in the box and put the box back in the cupboard by the television. She thought about turning it on, looking for some cheesy dance or music show to distract her, and then thought better of it.
Instead she headed to the bathroom, washed her face, brushed her teeth and then leaned in and turned on the shower. She could still feel sand between her toes but that wasn’t really why she wanted to stand beneath scalding hot water. She’d been doing her best to convince herself all of this wasn’t somehow her fault, but even having Sidney punish her hadn’t managed to erase the feeling that seemed to stick to her skin, the creepy crawling sensation that she had somehow been tainted by each and every selfish action she’d committed since she was a teenager that had lead to her sister’s death, to Becky being an orphan and to her almost being kidnapped.
She’d failed to check the identities of the so called agents who had offered to protect them. ‘I should have known’ she criticized herself, ‘they did some stupid shit. I knew better.’
Stepping beneath the scorching hot water she grabbed the loofah from its hook on the tiled wall and began to scrub at her skin until it began to turn a sort of cooked lobster red as she thought about all of the times that she’d put her niece into jeopardy. ‘I should have just let her go into foster care’ she berated herself, ‘she probably would have been better off’.
The first good decision she’d made was letting Sidney into their life, she thought with a half smile, her skin tingling at the thought of him. But even he had his downsides and not just that he’d tempted her into joining him out on the beach and leaving Becky alone, although she was still angry at herself and at him for that. The worst part about Sidney, Cody decided, was that eventually he was going to leave them. It had to happen. It was as probable as day following night. He was...well, he was Sidney Crosby, which was pretty damn close to Superman but he wasn’t Mother Theresa. Eventually they would have to go their own way, or, if the FBI chose, she and Becky would end up somewhere else under assumed names or....Or she would go back to Vancouver, to streets and neighbourhoods she knew, around people who knew her, where she might have a better chance at seeing danger coming. Either way Sidney was just going to be another person that disappeared from Becky’s life and that too would be her fault Cody rebuked herself silently as she peeled away layers of skin from her legs and arms.
“She went out like a light.” The shower door opened and Sid stood in its frame with a big, fluffy white towel held open in his arms. One glance at the way his gaze swept over her and despite his ability to school his features it was evident to Cody that her red, raw skin shocked and worried him. Turning off the water, she stepped down onto the bath mat and let him wrap her up like a human burrito. “It’s not your fault. You need to stop blaming yourself,” he whispered as he held her in his arms, as if he was reading her mind. She remained very still, considering whether or not to ask how he knew or if she should refute his claim. “I play with a bunch of perfectionists and I’m probably the worst for blaming myself for a loss,” he added, turning her to face him. “This is gonna be a little pot calling kettle black but...you’ve got to let it go Dakota. You can’t change the past, no matter how much you want to. I know, there’s been plenty of times I’ve wanted to but...no time machine, unfortunately,” he smirked, though the expression in his eyes told her he didn’t consider this any laughing matter.
“I just keep thinking...,” she began but he reached up and pressed two fingers to her lips to silence her.
He slipped the towel from around her shoulders and let it fall and when she started to raise her arms to cover herself, he pushed those away too. He kissed her and ran his hands over her soft, warm skin.
“I can help with that,” he told her and meant it, but this time it was going to be on his terms. Not like it had been this afternoon. Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her out to the bed and laid her down on the white sheets. Her eyes glimmered with tears that he could see she was doing her best not to let them escape. “Don’t think,” he reminded her again, and then tugged his t-shirt over his head.
Her gaze blazed a trail across his shoulders and then down his chest. He usually didn’t like it when women looked at him like he was nothing more than a side of beef but in this moment he didn’t mind, as long as it meant she wasn’t thinking about being the worst Aunt ever.
“You’re beautiful,” he told her, his own gaze roaming over her curves. She started to shake her head but he just smiled. “You are. Every time I look at you I think damn, she is so hot.”
“You are so full of shit,” she grinned back at him. It wasn’t a lie, far from it, but he’d been fairly certain that it would make her smile.
“Do you think I’d sleep with someone who was ugly?” he asked, crawling up onto the bed beside her.
“I think that bump on the head you took has seriously affected your judgement.” Her giggle turned into a sigh as he ran his fingertips over the curve of her hip and down into the valley of her waist and then across her stomach.
“I think you’re still thinking,” he whispered before pressing his mouth down over hers and sliding his hand down into her pussy.
She gasped as his fingers slid over her clit. She moaned when he slid two fingers inside of her and then dragged them back up and over her clit again. He felt her fingernails dig into his shoulders and smiled. He was pretty sure she was well on her way to being unable to think.
Sidney kissed his way down her neck and over her collarbone and finally slid his lips over her nipple and sucked it into his mouth. Her nipple hardened under his tongue and he heard her suck in a ragged breath as he pressed the flat of his tongue over the hard little ridges around the pebble of her nipple and then tugged her nipple between his teeth. Her juices began to flow faster as he slid his mouth over her other breast and repeated the process. Sliding his fingers out of her pussy, he licked her gleaming juices from them and grinned.
“I’ve been wondering if you taste as sweet as you look,” he told her, licking his fingers clean and then sliding slowly down the bed, placing gentle kisses along her belly and then on the insides of her thighs before spreading the lips of her pussy with his fingers. He heard her whimper and looked up to find her stuffing the corner of one of the pillows in her mouth. Chuckling, he pressed the flat of his tongue over her clit and slowly dragged it upwards until he heard her moan and felt the muscles beneath his fingers relax.
He’d wanted to do this the first night they’d been together, had thought about it long before that, but he’d been so eager to get inside of her. Now they had the time to explore, to try things they hadn’t before and he had all night to make her cum and cum again.
Max had demonstrated it, but as Sidney tried to make his tongue do a wave motion against her clit, his tongue didn’t seem to have the dexterity that Max’s did and he ended up lapping at her clit like a kitten would a bowl of milk. It had the same effect and soon Dakota was writhing on the bed, digging her heels into the sheets and he could clearly hear her cries, even though they were stifled by the pillow.
Her juices were really flowing now and Sidney got bolder, trying out the alphabet game he’d heard Tanger talk about in the dressing room. He spelled his full name out, all three names and was promptly rewarded by her heels drumming against the mattress and her nails digging into his scalp as she urged him on.
Coming up for air, Sidney blew out a long, slow breath across her clit and slid two fingers up inside of her, searching for that spot he’d found before that made her go off like a roman candle. He pressed his fingers upwards and, as he watched, her eyes rolled back and her mouth fell open and she let out a long, high pitched wail.
Cody lay, gasping like a carp out of water, on her back as Sidney kissed his way back up her body, paying particular attention to her breasts, licking and suckling at her nipples until she thought she was going to cum just from the feeling of his tongue brushing over them. Finally, however, the solid length of his body was pressed along hers and he reached for her lips with his.
If her entire body had not already been on fire, that kiss was like tossing a lit match into a vat of gasoline. His tongue curling around hers’ and the hard length of him pressed against her stomach, she felt almost deranged, clawing at his shorts, wanting to rip them just to get at him. She wanted him inside of her and she wanted it now.
Chuckling, he helped her pull the zipper down and pushed the shorts down over his hips, but when she reached for him, when she tried to slide her hand down the waistband of his boxer briefs, he shook his head.
“I want you on top,” he urged her quietly, rolling on to his back and kicking his shorts off so that he was lying there, in front of her, his sizeable member hard against his stomach. She reached to touch it, barely stroking it and he moaned. Reaching into the bedside table, she dug for the box of condoms. “Don’t you think it’s a bit late for that?” he asked sincerely. Cody blinked but continued to stare at where her hand had just closed on the box. She hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself, but he was right, of course. They’d already had sex, twice, unprotected. “I love you Dakota, whatever happens, I’m here.” For what seemed like the tenth time that day, she turned and faced him with tears in her eyes. “I mean it Cody. I love you,” he repeated and reached for her, pulling her down until their lips met and he kissed her, and kept on kissing her, even while she reached between them and guided him inside.
If she’d thought it had felt good before, with her prone over him, with her clit pressed to his pelvic bone, Cody was already gasping, her head reeling, pulse jumping. Gently, Sidney urged her up onto her knees and, grasping her hips in his big hands, pressed his full length up inside of her.
With her hands pressed flat against the middle of his chest, Cody began to move, slow up and down movements, each of which set of a series of fireworks in her brain. He was touching things inside of her, filling her in ways she’d never imagined and each down stroke stole her breath away.
She was close, sure the next up stroke would send her sailing over the edge and then she felt his hands slide slowly up her ribcage until his meaty paws were covering her breasts, her nipples stroking over the calluses in his palms. Cody threw back her head and let out what sounded like primitive howl.
“Oh sooo fuuuuucking goooood!” she cursed, letting his hands hold her up as she reached back and arched her back, changing the angle as she dug her fingers into his muscular thighs, or tried to, which was next to impossible considering they were like cement pillars. She panted as he rolled her nipples between his fingers and her brain fizzled and popped like an old radio as she came again with the sensation of being ripped open from her clit up to the back of her eyes. “Siiidnnneeeeee!” she howled and fell forward against his hands. Their gazes locked as she slid her hands up to his wrists, curled her fingers around them and held on.
“That’s it baby, don’t think, just feel,” he growled as he raised his hips, pushing himself up into her until she thought there was no way to take anymore of him.
“Harder,” she panted, pulling his hands harder against her breasts, leaning into his hands and pressing down on him at the same time. She raised herself up, until she could just feel the head of his cock inside and then slammed her hips down, pressing the breath form her lungs and tearing a groan from his. The next time he met her half way down and as their bodies met she shuddered and moaned his name. The next time it was his turn to lay there, almost inert as he gathered his breath.
The moment he’d gained control, however, he rolled her over onto her back, pinned her to the bed and spread her legs, wide.
“I’m gonna fuck you,” he whispered, pressing her knees as far back as she could bear, “just as soon as you tell me that you love me.” She stared up at him, that little voice in the back of her mind warring with every emotion she was feeling in that moment. “Feel Dakota, just feel,” he whispered, holding himself just inside of her, teasing her, knowing she couldn’t do anything about it.
“I want you,” she whimpered, her nails scratching uselessly at his chest and arms. “Please Sidney,” she added pathetically.
“You know it,” she whispered, biting back the words.
“No, I don’t or I wouldn’t ask,” he sighed and then turned his face away. Suddenly he felt like he was going to cry and he hated that he felt as helpless as a mewling kitten. How had this happened, he wondered as he drew back, pulling in on himself and away from her. How had he become so needy?
“Sidney?” Her voice was small and held a note of surprise as he turned entirely away from her. He felt the bed move, felt her hands on his shoulders. He tried to shrug them off but she held on, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body to his back. “This is hard for me,” she whispered. He nodded. He knew it, or he knew part of it and guessed at the rest. She didn’t trust him or anyone else and she had plenty of reason not to. He wanted her to though. He needed her to. “If you left...,” her voice trailed off and he could hear the words in his head that she wouldn’t say. ‘If you left it would be awful’. It was good, but it wasn’t the same thing as love. “I’d be hurt but Becky...she’d be devastated,” she added quietly, her cheek pressed to his shoulder. “I’m scared of that more than anything.”
“You think I don’t want her?” he asked, turning his head to look at her.
“I don’t see why you should but no...I guess I don’t know that,” she sighed and pressed her forehead to his. “You’re...you’re fucking Sidney Crosby. You don’t need this chaos in your life. The thing is I wouldn’t even be mad at you if I woke up in the morning and you were gone. In fact, I’d totally understand but Becks...,” her voice trailed off as she thought about the shut down expression in the little girl’s eyes the day she’d picked her up from the social worker’s office. “I have to protect her too.”
He nodded and then dropped his head into his hands. He knew things were complicated. He knew she had every reason to withhold her feelings from him. In fact, he knew she had every right to hide her heart from him. It hurt though. It hurt a lot more than he wanted to admit.
“I didn’t expect to fall for you, both of you,” he told her honestly, his head still in his hands, “but I think you should know that the other day, when Becky was gone...just...I would catch a bullet for either of you.” He held his breath. He almost expected her to laugh. He certainly expected her to argue, to tell him he was insane. She did neither, well...not exactly.
“You’re crazy.” He could hear the smile in her voice but it none of the sarcasm he was waiting for.
“No,” he sighed, lifting his head, “but I think this bump on my head and all this time away from hockey has made me see straight for the first time in my life. You two have made me smile and made me relax and made me think about stuff other than hockey for the first time in my life and...and I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you.” He turned and looked into her eyes and everything he wanted was there as her eyes filled with tears and then she kissed him and he felt his heart swell in his chest.
“I love you,” she whispered, against his mouth.
“Thank fucking god for that,” he whispered back and then kissed her back onto the bed.